I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
