just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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