Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
