I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
