Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm always down for nudity.
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