Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
