Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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