you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
