it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
