Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
