I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
