Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it's like iHOP with fire
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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