I wish i was in the wii world.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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