dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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