I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
