i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
