In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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