I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
