If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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