I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize