I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
