Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
