I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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