the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my shit smells like andre
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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