i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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