hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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