Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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