i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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