he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
