just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
