Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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