mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Tell her she can't have a vagina
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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