College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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