I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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