she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
