we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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