making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
