just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize