ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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