Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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