last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
