wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
should my penis look like a turkey
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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