I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
