I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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