I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
