Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I love you. Go after that dick
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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