Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You were trust falling into bushes
we're so committed to being not committed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
