it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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