the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
