Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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