I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
