Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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