did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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