Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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