Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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