I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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