I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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