well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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