All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
