doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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