I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
