We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
