my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
