so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
