and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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